"Tempt not a desperate man...."

Long time no rant. I've been a busy little bee. A bee that also excels in procrastination, it seems. Alas.

Tempting as it is to go off on one about politicians, lawyers, police, insurance brokers and the DSA, I'm not allowing myself a foray into such self-indulgent drivel.

Instead, I'm going to indulge myself and drivel on about people. Shock horror surprise.

It is oft bemoaned that, in our society, the general assumption is that one is heterosexual until proven otherwise. I have a related gripe, which I have found extends right across my somewhat disparate social circles: why, I ask, why is sex assumed implicit? (Not gender or genitals or any of that malarky; I refer, for now, to that messy, sticky, glandular act of copulation)

I'm going to be twenty two in a few weeks. I've been told I'm not bad looking and a reasonably likeable sort of person (but then again, mums and friends are indebted to say such things, right?). It would seem that many expect, upon seeing me and knowing my age, that I have one or two notches upon my bedpost. Perhaps a lesser occurrence amongst religious types, where abstinence (or professed abstinence, as the case may be...) is more common; until they find out I bat for the other team, whereupon I must surely be doing more screwing than a Black&Decker cordless 'driver. Can you say "stereotype"?

As my boss so eloquently put it, "21?! You must be up to your nuts in guts every night!"

Now, don't get me wrong, I have nothing against the act of coitus, nor those whom partake of it. I'm sure it's great, and I suppose I'll get round to it some day. But it becomes tiresome to have it repeatedly presumed that ones decisions, actions, aspirations, et al. are influenced by a libido that isn't there. That, for example, I'm into someone for the sake of getting into them. Can't I just be interested and friendly?

No, I don't like pussy and tits. No, I'm not a top. Yes, I am a virgin. No, it doesn't bother me. Yes, I could get some if I wanted. No, I don't make a habit of objectifying people. No, sex and romance isn't the be-all and end-all. Yes, I do wish people would stop portraying it as such, and pressuring others into thinking they need to get some ASAP, or thinking they're worthless/ugly/failures/doomed because they haven't.

Perhaps I should just print that out on little cards and hand them out as a pre-emptive measure, to save reliving the same tired old conversations?