i am the voices......

Yes! I hear you cry out in astonishment and woe; 'tis I indeed! Back once more from the dark and mysterious nethers of obscurity, breaking radio silence with grandiose prolix aplomb, and striking forth once more into the dubious realms of international renown, bearing gifts of tautological obfuscation and recondite prose. Behold (aghast, perchance) as I weave tales of whimsy and spin elaborate flights of fancy before your bedazzled eyes!

Or not, as the case may be. Buggrit! (as Foul Old Ron would likely put it).

As of late, I haven't been lacking in time to blog, so much as lacking inspiration and drive. My reticent nature (whilst quietly longing for someone willing to persist and prise information from me) forbids the documenting of every fleeting spat, crush, whinge, nonevent, and minor tribulation in my humble existence. Maybe I'm just not in touch with my inner teenage girl. Meh. Who needs an inner child, when you can have an inner chicken?! *SQUAWK!*

I hit a turning point today. After a long, dark period of self-scrutiny, questioning and (let's face it) depression, something, somehow, fell into place. Like the dropping of the finest of pins onto the cold hard floor of the cavernous dimensions of the mind, sending disproportionate echoes reverberating to the farthest reach, at a frequency that cuts through the hubbub of the psyche as if it were perfect silence. Spreading, seeping steadily through everything like a damp British fog, changing nothing whilst altering all. A peculiar sensation to put into words.

Strange, really, the things we hold on to. The buried thoughts and memories, lodged and hidden, that, for all intents and purposes, should be insignificant and yet conspire to cause untold grief and torment. How odd that something I once stated, as the culmination of insidious ideas I had been led (or led myself) to believe, should be the vital strand. That elusive segment of the tangle, which needs but a small nudge; to be looked at in a different light, from a different angle, in order to start the whole mess unravelling.

There will certainly be more knots to untie as the jumble unwinds. I hope and pray this isn't a brief high on my emotional rollercoaster, soon to be banished (yet again) by the uncontrollable plummet into devastation and morose self-pity/-absorption; a momentary surfacing of an extroverted, exuberant persona, soon to go the way of the mayfly.

But via the releasing of these memories, I have rediscovered the Meaning(lessness) of Life (or was it Liff?), together with the ability to earnestly cease taking it all so damn seriously. The damage will slowly be built over, stronger than before.

Here's to new beginnings, old endings, obscure neglected vocabulary, and sausages.

rAmen.

Oh, and here's also to the cute foreign barman I'm so going to hit on, for the lulz, next Tuesday.

Peace out.